Part 6: Being Part of the Team

Rituals and Rhythms

Remote teams don't have watercooler moments. We have to be deliberate about connection.

The Weekly Rhythm

Day	What happens
Monday	Async check-in: "Here's what I'm shipping this week"
Tuesday	Weekly team sync (45 min video call). No async check-in.
Wednesday	Async check-in: "Here's what's stuck"
Thursday	Async check-in if needed. Wind down the week.
Friday	Off.

Async Check-ins

Three times a week, you post a short voice note:

Monday: What you're working on this week, any blockers
Wednesday: What's stuck, what needs input
Thursday: Optional, if there's something to flag

90 seconds max. Voice, not text. It's faster for you, and hearing each other's voices keeps us human.

Weekly Team Sync

Our one scheduled video call each week. 45 minutes, Tuesday.

The format:

5 min: Personal check-in. "How are you?" Not "what are you doing?" We start with humans.
30 min: Metrics, decisions, issues to work through.
5 min: Proud moment. One thing each person is proud of this week.
5 min: Quick review of decisions made.

If there's nothing to discuss, the meeting is short. We don't fill time for the sake of it.

Demo Day

Every two weeks, 30 minutes. Show what you've built.

This isn't a formal presentation. It's "here's what I shipped, here's how it works, here's what I learned." Celebrate progress. Get feedback. Keep the team connected to what we're actually building.

Monthly Strategic Review

Once a month, 2 hours. Zoom out from the tactical.

Are we making progress on our goals?
What's working? What's not?
What should we change?

Quarterly Planning

Full day, in person. We get together, review the quarter, plan the next one.

Retrospective: What went well, what didn't, what we learned
Planning: What are the 2-3 big things for next quarter?
Connection: Time together that isn't just work

Annual Retreat

Two days, somewhere worth going. Fully covered.

This is about team bonding as much as work. We'll do some strategic thinking, but we'll also eat together, explore together, and remember we're humans who happen to work together.

Connection When You're Remote

Informal Stuff

Work isn't just meetings. It's also the random conversations that build relationships.

Virtual coffee: Grab 15-20 minutes with someone just to chat. No agenda. Put it in the calendar.
Slack channels: We have channels for non-work chat. Use them.
Celebrate things: Birthdays, work anniversaries, personal wins. We notice them and acknowledge them.

Birthdays and Anniversaries

We'll remember your birthday and your work anniversary. Not in a corporate "HR sent an automated email" way. In a "someone noticed and said something genuine" way.

If you'd rather we didn't make a fuss, tell us. Some people love it, some people don't. We'll respect your preference.

When Someone's Having a Hard Time

Life happens. People go through difficult patches.

If you're struggling, you can share as much or as little as you want. We won't pry, but we will check in. If there's something we can do to help (adjusted workload, time off, flexibility), tell us.

If you notice a colleague seems to be struggling, reach out. Not in a nosy way. Just "hey, noticed you seem a bit flat, everything okay?" Sometimes that's all someone needs.

Giving and Receiving Feedback

Feedback is how we get better. It flows in all directions: up, down, sideways.

The Principles

Direct. Say it to the person, not about them.
Specific. "The way you handled that customer call was great because you acknowledged their frustration before solving the problem" beats "good job."
Timely. Feedback in the moment is worth ten times more than feedback in a quarterly review.
Kind. Direct doesn't mean harsh. You can be honest and compassionate at the same time.

How to Give Feedback

Positive feedback:

Be specific about what was good
Say why it mattered
Say it publicly if appropriate (Slack, team meeting)

Constructive feedback:

Say it privately first
Be specific about the behaviour, not the person
Explain the impact
Offer to help if you can

A useful format:

"When you [specific behaviour], the impact was [what happened]. In future, could you [suggestion]?"

How to Receive Feedback

Listen without defending
Ask questions if you don't understand
Thank the person for telling you (even if it's hard to hear)
Decide what to do with it

You don't have to agree with every piece of feedback. But take it seriously. If multiple people are telling you the same thing, they're probably onto something.

Feedback to the Founder

This goes both ways. If something's not working, if a decision seems wrong, if you disagree with a direction, say so.

The founder isn't always right. The team's job is to make the best decisions, not to agree with whoever's in charge.

When Things Go Wrong

Making Mistakes

You will make mistakes. Everyone does.

When you do:

Own it. Don't hide it, don't blame someone else.
Fix it. Or ask for help fixing it.
Learn from it. What went wrong? How do we prevent it next time?
Move on. Don't dwell. Mistakes are how we learn.

We don't punish mistakes. We punish hiding them.

Disagreements

Disagreements are healthy. They mean people care.

How to disagree well:

Focus on the idea, not the person
Explain your reasoning, not just your conclusion
Listen to understand, not to respond
Be willing to change your mind

When you can't agree:

Someone has to make a call (usually the founder, or whoever owns the area)
Once the decision is made, commit to it fully
"Disagree and commit" isn't grudging compliance. It's genuinely supporting the decision even if you'd have chosen differently.

Conflict Between People

If you have a problem with a colleague:

Talk to them directly first. Most things can be resolved with a conversation.
If that doesn't work, involve the founder. Not to take sides, but to help you work through it.
Don't let it fester. Unresolved tension poisons teams.

If someone has a problem with you and raises it, take it seriously. Listen. Try to understand their perspective.

Serious Issues

Some things aren't just disagreements. Harassment, discrimination, ethical violations, anything illegal.

If you experience or witness something serious:

Tell the founder immediately
You can also email directly if you'd prefer a written record
We will take it seriously and act on it

Retaliation for raising a concern is not tolerated. Ever.

Grievances

If you have a formal complaint about how you've been treated:

Raise it with the founder
We'll investigate fairly
You'll be kept informed of the outcome
If you're not satisfied, you can appeal

For formal policies on serious issues and grievances, refer to the "Serious Legal Stuff" folder in the Company shared drive on Google Drive.

We hope we never need this process. But it exists, and it's real.

Working Together Well

Be Reliable

Do what you say you'll do. If you can't, say so early. Nothing erodes trust faster than missed commitments without communication.

Assume Good Intent

When a message seems curt, assume the person was busy, not rude. When a decision seems wrong, assume you're missing context, not that someone's an idiot.

Remote communication strips out tone. Give people the benefit of the doubt.

Help Each Other

If a colleague is stuck and you can help, help. Even if it's not your job. Especially if it's not your job.

We're a small team. We succeed together or not at all.

Protect the Culture

Culture isn't something the founder imposes. It's something we all create through our daily actions.

If you see something that doesn't align with our values, say something. If someone's behaviour is undermining the team, address it. If a process is making things worse, flag it.

You're not just working here. You're building this place.

This is Part 6 of the thredspan handbook. Next: Part 7: Leaving thredspan